With the holidays complete, we are slowly getting back to our daily grind. We had a excellent Christmas this year, not in the way of gifts. It's never about the gifts for me. It boils down to emotional health. Last year was a deep pit of ebony darkness.
This year is a vast improvement on our moods. There are too many things that have happen to our lil family over the past 12 months, coming through a dark storm to see the light of day is remarkable.
At one point I thought about packing my marriage, for no other reason than to leave a ugly atmosphere of feelings. I thought if I physically moved away from my family I could find peace. Along the way this would/could bring happiness to them as well. I was desperate to improve our emotional health. Incredible how your mind works during a trying period. I'm glad I did not act on those feelings of emptiness and despair. Why I gave this a seriously thought behooves me today.
Our Christmas day started with hubby allowing me to sleep in late. Usually the gifts are all ripped open before the crack of dawn. Eldest loves Santa, he writes a note each year. He talks about what Santa is doing, where he's going..etc. We live with adult six year old. This holiday means everything to him. He brings a certain joy to the our celebration. So, with hubby telling him not to disrupt me, because I had a terrible night with my RA keeping me awake. Finally when I awoke, I immediately felt sad that I had let them down. I jumped out of bed, scurried to the family room. Only to find the boys smiling faces. They all said good morning, hubby went to get me a cup of coffee. Eldest told me he was waiting for me to awake to open the presents Santa had delivered. He looked at all the presents under the tree, sharing with me the excitement this brings, I had just received my 1st gift of the day. To think that I had seriously thought about leaving this group to find happiness, realizing it's been with me all this time. I just needed to open my eyes.
Yep, 2014 was a good Christmas.
Sweet Entry, it is great to have someone around to remind us of the important of SANTA!
ReplyDeleteWe have experienced the darkness and our family is now climbing out into the light also, I can share that feeling.
Love from the World of Mickey
I so HAPPY for you on all fronts!!!! Glad you had a special Christmas with your family!
ReplyDelete(((Cindi)))) Thanks for sharing this! It does take a bit of vulnerability to share something like this and wonder how it will be received. I am glad you decided it was worthwhile to stick around and hang in there with your family and realize that sooner or later happiness would come back again. It is hard when you go through tough times; I think we all have the flight syndrome when it does happen; it takes strong people to stay put and weather the storms. I have to say there were times over the past 4 years with our situation of where we were (especially in the beginning) that I had thought of fleeing the situation. I am glad God told me to stay put.
ReplyDeleteI do wish you all a Happy New Year!
betty