I loathe every stinkin year she has been gone. It is the worst emotion I can experience. I deactivated my fb acct, cuz I dont want to hear from everyone, "Sorry for your loss"...or "We miss her too"...
I dont want their pity or words, I want my sister back, but I know I can not have her. Some years have been ok, apparently this year is not, it's difficult to console my parents, it's difficult to see other siblings not as emotional as I. I dont need therapy, GRIEF is what it is...She was killed in a car accident, an accident that took a 7 year or child too. That accident changed the whole dynamic of my family. It has separated us, not brought us together.
Debby was 39 years old when is died, 39 forever, what every woman says....We were to meet at our parents house, she was traveling separately from me, my friend & our kids. We were traveling to visit our parents in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. It was one of the most beautiful days, the Aspen trees were at their peak of golden color. I use to love fall, I still do, but it's not the same. I witness my parents dropping to their knees in grief, hearing the loss of their child. I was suddenly thrown into the 'adult' world. Debby's daughter was in the car, survived, barely, she was in ICU at a hospital located 2 hours away from where my parents lived. I had to drive my parents to the hospital that day, my mother in the front seat next to me rubbing her belly, "wishing" her baby was still with her, my father in the back, calling everyone he knew, repeating the words, she's gone, she's gone....
Yep, some years are better than others....
I miss ya Deb....(hugs)
Sip your coffee, while I blog about the humorous day to day happenings with my family, cats, or me crocheting, going to the beach, sharing recipes, books, last but not least enjoying the love of COFFEE...
Aww, my sweet friend! I was wondering about your facebook account! I know it is so hard!! I'm so sorry that this happened to you & your family! I wish there was something I could do or say that would make it a little easier, but I know there's not. Know that I'm here for you & praying for you all!
ReplyDeleteHugs & love ya!
((((Cindi and family)))))
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, how terrible.
ReplyDeleteNo words can offer comfort when we lose a loved one. Prayers, Sheila
ReplyDeleteThat explains the agony you expressed on Facebook, Cindi. Indescribably sad. I realise I'm nearly a week late, but I wish you strength for now and for the future.
ReplyDeleteI know it's not enough, but, I am sorry.
ReplyDeleteI closed my acc't on facebook, but I can surely say I am so sorry. At nearly 82 I have known the grief you are experiencing. You feel like you can never go through another year, but you make it, and hope things get better.
ReplyDeletei don't want to bring it back, but I guess this will. To tell the truth I liked the post. One thing I have tried to do is mind my own business with family and friends. If I have experienced something I might can add some words of wisdom, but in a case where I have not, I try, I said TRY not to give any. This was a sweet- allbe it bitter sweet entry.
ReplyDeleteI remember when someone said my closest friend was better off, I said I don't care, I want him back.
Loved the entry because it expresses what a lot of folks cannot say. But it is what it is.